Sonofabitch

This time I’m all about absurdity…

Eeeeeeeeeeeeverybody wants to be famous...
Number one on the list is American Idol. Or any Idol for that matter, except that I didn’t watch any of the others. No doubt some good has come of it in the form of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice, (I don’t like the other ones much) but all in all, it’s more like a freak show of talentless goofs setting themselves up for ridicule. I cannot believe the number of people lost in delusions…and the fact that their families are so supportive of it! Haven’t they heard them sing? Can’t they hear themselves sing?
Obviously, everybody can’t be so good and that’s fine, as long as they don’t force their merry singingness on the entire frickin’ world… I’m not saying I’ll do much better than them, but at least I have a gauge of my own abilities.
Waaaaiiit a minute…y’know what? Fuck you all…this is MY blog, so if I say I’m Frankie Sinatra, you’ll believe it, brother!
Back to my point, people, don’t screw up TV! I don’t wanna sit down to watch nuts who just aren’t good at it, try to sing. If I wanted to do that, I have friends who do it pro bono.

Whatever happened to Bon Jovi? When Bon Jovi lyrics start to sound like something I might come up with if I keep writing, that can’t be very good. For them or me. So what if we have the same initials? So what if they aren’t our real initials?
I’ve been a fan ever since I heard Crossroad. I know it’s cheap to become a bandwagon-hopper after hearing a Greatest Hits album, but I couldn’t help it. They were popular and I was netted.
Welcome to wherever you are? Gimme a break…what a rip off!! INXS just got cut.
Have a nice day? Crush? WTF? This sounds like commercial churn out Mr. Bongiovi…this ain’t nowhere near New Jersey or Keep the Faith. I respected you man…

Still keeping with the flow, the nasty interiors of the nation never fail to throw up something juicy to hold to ridicule. So, there’s this dude from some village who has to prove that he’s…hold your breath…ALIVE.
His family’s performed his last rites and now the guy, who IS alive by the way, is treated as a ghost by the entire village! Turns out the fellow had been in prison for a while and fell ill while serving sentence. He was moved to a hospital in another state and that’s all the family ever heard of him. Loving folks that they were, they quickly went ahead with his ceremonial last rites to ensure that he had a peaceful “afterlife”. Unfortunately for all concerned parties, Mr. Man recovered and returned to his village after completing his sentence.
Now he has no job, no cash, no family and apparently, no life. He’s been completely ostracized and he’s become the bogeyman to the village young ‘uns. Hmmm…apart from that last bit, poor dude pretty much got screwed.
If he has to regain an ounce of dignity, the Panchayat (village elders) wants proof of his non-death. And with no job or family member who will even deign to recognize him, that’s not about to happen. Who in their right minds would ever imagine such a situation anyway? Well, the good news for him is that if he jumped off a cliff, things would actually get better, since his afterlife is already taken care of.

I think that should do it for now. There’s absurd-aplenty left in the world but I’ll leave the cribbing for another day.


Johnny Cash – Folsom Prison Blues

Wonder Years

I’m posting twice in the same week this time. Its simple, I have nothing much to do with my time, at least for now. Lets hope I don’t show up again before next week.

I was watching TV the other day and I got to thinking. Its absurd how the most superficial idea of happiness next to breast enhancement and maybe the Playstation (game boxes, squares, cubes etc. inclusive) could be thought, thought provoking.
Just a small note before I proceed: I may label breast augmentation as superficial but it doesn’t mean that I’m not one to enjoy the vision of its bountiful results. Thank you.
Finally winding down to my point, I started thinking about the ironies of life. No, not the profundities that emerge from overzealous liquor consumption but the more everyday stuff.
The way I see it, being a kid/young adult is just as tough as being the parent of one. A good parent, that is. As a parent, your double-edged duty lies in the well being of your children. Guiding them, making the tough calls and coming to the rescue are all part of the job. On the other hand, experience is most often the best teacher. If parents don’t knowingly allow their kids to makes mistakes and take bad decisions, how will they know when their kids in turn have reached the point in their lives where they’re bound to trip over the folds in the rug? They want to be around to help them up. At the same time, simply allowing your kids to learn from their own mistakes sets a precedent for a long chain of what amounts to parental neglect.

Kids (and by kids I mean young adults too) always have two choices.
a. Listen to the folks. They’ve been around the block before, so it’s probably smart to take their opinions “under advisement”.
2. Don’t.
Do what you want, how you want and when you want to. Chances are, this will land you in many a stew, but hey, at least you’ll be the cook. You’ll learn eventually and time will see you much wiser but not without a fair share of event and mishap, which might have been less severe had you chosen option A.
It’s a decision kids everywhere are torn with. To obey or not to obey…that is the question! On the one hand, parents always have your best interests in mind. On the other, who doesn’t want to be a rebel?
I think, and I’m assuming here, that every kid at some point between the pre and post teen years develops into a rebel. It’s a phase that can either pass quickly or linger, even developing into a way of life, depending on the family background. I find it healthy in so much as it’s the first stop on the road of self-expression. I’d be seriously surprised if this were untrue.

In the end, things go round one way or another. Parents (and I still mean good parents) will always try to tell you what’s good for you, even when you’re forty. Kids will make their choice everyday, maintaining a fine line between good and bad, which can often become blurry. The choice won’t always be the same and the effects of these choices decide which kids grow up to emulate their parents, good and bad.
Everyday choices, sometimes they work out okay, sometimes they bite you in the ass…the best odds on life anyone will ever have is always fifty-fifty.


“Harry, I’ve reached the top!” – Marv the Sticky Bandit

If you’ve watched Home Alone 2, you’ll find this single line as hilarious as I did.

Perfect people

I’ve tried to compose after almost two months, how time has flown.
Anyway, I took some trouble here. This is supposed to be punk…don’t know if it’s turned out well enough.


Take a look in the mirror
You don’t like what it says,
And you’re always feeling ugly
Not like everybody else.
Saw a boy at the bakery
His eyes were shining blue,
And the girls next door’s a princess
So she doesn’t look at you.

Get up,
Get a clue
There’s more to life than high society,
Don’t give up
Too soon,
Don’t let your life just pass you quietly.

And everybody’s looking perfect
Girls pretty in pink and boys in blue, so cool,
They’ve all got different names yet they all look just the same,
But you don’t have to try so hard to be cool,
In a world of perfect people you’re still beautiful.

Your best friend is a winner
She’s always on the scene,
And she’s got all the boys
Soon she’ll be a beauty queen.
When you look in the mirror
You don’t like what you see,
But of all the pretty people
You’re still prettier to me.

Wake up,
You fool
There’s more to life than high society,
You’re not
A tool,
Just be yourself, no popstar wannabe.

And everybody’s looking perfect,
Girls pretty in pink and boys in blue, so cool
They’ve all got different names yet they all look just the same,
But you don’t have to try so hard to be cool,
In a world of perfect people you’re still beautiful.

Perfect bodies, perfect hair,
The things that make you stop and stare.
Perfect makeup for a perfect face
They’re way ahead in the perfect race,
But everything is not so easy…
So the girls choose perfect boys
To come play with their perfect toys,
And the boys want perfect girls
To run their fingers through their curls,
But everything is not so easy…

[interlude]

Wake up,
Get a clue
There’s more to life than high society,
You’re not
A fool,
Just be yourself, no popstar wannabe.

Yeah everybody’s so damn perfect,
Girls pretty in pink and boys in blue,
They’ve all got different names yet they’re all lookin’ the same,
But you don’t have to try so hard to be cool,
In a world of perfect people you’re still beautiful.


Led Zeppelin – Immigrant Song

Chew, chew

Y’know what I hate? When the press refers to Indian women as actors. There is a whole separate word for them, don’t they know???
Hollywood actresses are, of course, actresses. But talk about Ms. Rai and company and they all suddenly turn masculine. Is that some sort of equal-rights-for-women thing that the Indian press is so keen on? If that’s the case, what about women in other countries? Or are Indian women more equal than others?


Y’know what I hate? When people say “female species”. As Kenan would put it… Why???????????
Don’t they know? Don’t you know? There is no female species. There cannot be a female species!! There can be a female OF the species but NO female species. If there ever was a female species, how would they reproduce?
A male and a female make up a pair of the same species. If males and females were two different species nobody could make babies…
Tigers can mate with Lions to make Tigons and Ligers. They’re feline.
Horses can make it with Donkeys and Zebras to give birth to Mules and Zorses respectively. They’re equine.
See? You don’t get rabbits mounting house-cats (although I’ve seen one try!) because they don’t belong to the same species. A male rabbit needs a female of the same species to breed with. Grow a brain, people!

Go here for more stuff on cross breeds within the species.


Y’know what I like? The Rolling Stones’ Like A Rolling Stone video. They’ve covered Bob Dylan but it’s a job superbly done.
Apart from having Patricia Arquette, which alone is a reason for me to like it, they also have some great visual effects.
First, they have the 180-degree revolving camera thing. I don’t know what it’s called, but they have a semicircle of cameras set up around the subject and each camera captures one image, all simultaneously done. Then the frames are played sequentially, in the order in which the cameras were arranged for it to seem as if one camera has revolved around the subject, frozen in time. An awesome technique, also made use of by the National Geographic Channel to produce some stunning visuals.
Then they have they watery effect, by way of which, limb movements and changing backgrounds are smoothly blurred into each other to give the whole video a drunken stupor feel.
A classic Stones audio and video experience, which is pretty much what can always be expected from the dudes who’re never gone.
Catch it whenever you can.


Y’know what I hate? Public mentality. Actually, Indian public mentality. First, they look for every opportunity to pull down India’s most successful cricket captain, while he's being successful. Now, when he's truly struggling and fully aware of it, and been given the boot, the public want to see him given a fighting chance instead, to give the appearance that they are a fair public.
What is the sense in worshipping a man while still spitting in his face? When you're busy kissing his boots, if you wanna spit in his face...you gotta look up first. Try it to know.


Y’know what I hate? These ugly ass mothas! Just because they live at the bottom of the sea, it doesn’t mean they have an excuse to forget their makeup…

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Bananarama - Cruel Summer