Defining moments are few and far between during a single lifetime. It’s nice to have them because they do exactly what they say: define you at a point in your life. They give you a sense of security, an important thing in a world which is becoming increasingly insecure. And I’m not talking about security in the sense of safety; I mean security in the sense of self.I’m 23. One would say I’m not that old. But I feel it and I don’t know why. Although, I don’t recall an event that defined the metamorphosis from adolescent to adult, the moment when I became a man. It can neither be planned nor created, it just happens and you know right then. Of course, circumstances are such that I hardly remember much anyway, but I think this would be one thing I’d remember not to forget. Becoming a man is about taking charge of your world and accepting the responsibilities that come with it. It comes in different forms for different people: the first big investment, a fishing trip with dad, marriage, seeing someone close in deep shit and realizing it could have been you, your new baby, or wanting one and planning for it. Some would prefer less complex experiences like a virginal sexual experience or lighting up/downing one for the first time.
I think I’m a man, but I have no proof for myself. The shaving, the backaches, the hair loss, the evolving view of women, none of these is a certifiable indicator of a degree of manliness.
Many people probably get through their life without having had such a defining moment and never feeling the need for one. But I need it. It’s not a matter of insecurity; I just want to know that when the time comes for me to take up something big, I will not hesitate. I have had very few challenges in my life up to now and this has left me devoid of crunch-time-performance experience.
On the other hand, there’s this.
Childhood is on the other side of the coin. I look back over 20 odd years and there’s not very much that stands out. There was no adventure, there was no journey of self discovery, there was no innocence lost and there were no surprises. It often makes me wonder what I missed out on. Of course I will never know and there’s no way of ever finding out.
This is made even more depressing by the fact that we are living in the age of the undo. No matter how bad you muck up, you can always undo, re-format, or simply use the backup disk. Having got used to that you tend to expect the same out of life, which only leaves you disappointed.
George Bernard Shaw hit it on the head: Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Stupid kids.
Watch The Goonies!
Green Day – When I Come Around
Eric Carmen – Hungry Eyes
