The rise of Floyd!
Little Ernie was having a problem with his homework. “Dad,” he asked, “What is the difference between ‘anger’ and ‘exasperation’?”
“Well, son,” said his father, “I’ll give you a practical demonstration.”
His father picked up the phone and dialled a number.
“Hello,” said a voice at the other end.
“Hello,” said Ernie’s father. “Is Melvin there?”
“There is no one called Melvin here!” the voice replied. “Why don’t you look up numbers before you dial them?”
“You see?” said Ernie’s father. “That man was not at all happy with our call. But watch this!”
He then dialled the number again, and says, “Hello, is Melvin there?”
“Now look here!” the voice said angrily. “I told you there is no Melvin here! You’ve got a lot of nerve calling again!”
“Did you hear that?” Ernie’s father asked. “That was ‘anger’. Now, we’ll see what ‘exasperation’ is!”
He dialled once again. And on hearing the voice at the other end, Ernie’s father said: “Hello! This is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”
Young girl: If I go up to your room, do you promise to be good?
Young man: Baby, I promise to be FANTASTIC!
Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria
Dogma: The mother of puppies
Ultimate: The last person to marry
Vice versa: Dirty poems
A rather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window.
“Excuse me,” said the woman sitting next to him. “But, would you mind explaining what you’re doing?”
“It scares away the elephants,” replied the drunk.
“But I don’t see any elephants around here,” said the woman.
“Bloody effective, i’nnit?” crowed he.
Har...
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(TY - Reader's Digest)
